Who am I meant to be?
I am well past "mid life" and I am still trying to answer that question. Don't get me wrong, I have had a very full life and I have done many exciting things. but recently I've been struggling with the "so what' question. I've been doubting myself and wondering if what I'm doing really matters to anyone. Like "so what?"
Oh, oh. self doubt has set in.
Self-doubt occurs when we lack confidence, there is uncertainty around things we can’t control, and/or we worry that things are not going according to plan.
It's curious to me that we can go from feeling strong and confident one day to feeling full of self-doubt the next. Why does that happen?
The usual culprit is that we are comparing ourselves to others and ruthlessly judging our own progress. You've heard the saying "we are our own worst enemy", right? That's true. So true.
We always judge ourselves more harshly than we would judge anyone else. We expect perfection when perfection doesn't exist. We aren't giving ourselves enough credit for all the things we have accomplished, but we are hyper-focused on the things that are yet undone. And many times, we haven't set clear boundaries for ourselves. We have allowed too many things to take over our day and we are most likely feeling overwhelmed.
Well, I must be honest, today, I am all of that.
I have let self doubt sneak in and I am overwhelmed. I am worried and I feel out of control. I am spinning my wheels and I can't make forward progress any where.
Time out. It's time to breathe.
Here are four great ways to overcome self-doubt.
- Embrace it. "What we resist persists." Recognize self-doubt, acknowledge its presence, and then move forward with your day. "Hey, self doubt, I see you, and I know you're trying to help. Go ahead and hang out if you want, but I'm gonna get back to work."
- Cultivate your purpose. Remember I said at the start of this article that I was doubting my life's purpose? That was my cue to stop and reset. Ask yourself these questions: 1) what do I believe in?, and 2) am I making a difference in someone else's life? These answers will help get you back on track with who you were meant to be!
- Spend time with people who believe in you. Spend more time with the people in your life who really love and support you. They can help fill your cup and brush away those feelings of self-doubt.
- Have more fun. Take some time just to have fun. Do what makes you smile. Set the projects aside for a few hours or a few days and just have some good old fashion fun!
Who am I meant to be?
I remember now. I just needed a little break and a little reminder.
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